I was listening to a tape in the car today... Interesting quote:

Love while you still dare to.
Remember to live while you're still alive.

The guy said that he heard it first when he was to young to understand, and then heard it again when he was too old to do it. Needs to happen somewhere in the middle, I suppose.

This morning felt weird from the very start.

I snapped at J in the driveway for whining and disobeying. I got over it on the drive to day care, but she did it all again when we got there. It was all I could do to reign it all in and try to talk to her in a quieter voice. (My throat was still sore from the first time I snapped.) I talked to her and told her that I didn't want to have to yell. I wanted her to be able to obey and that her obeying would make mom and dad very happy. I'm thinking that I really just wanted to have a positive image of J when I thought of her and I being together... and I don't have that all the time.

I hugged her and made sure that she knew that I loved her. She was OK, but I was in tears. I wanted so bad for her to know that I loved her more than she could ever imagine. I wanted to be her dad and her friend.

I got to work and realized what day this was. This was the day that Dad died.

I still miss him.

I was just wondering... isn't it just too easy to waste time with this thing? Like a lot of things, this has the capability to waste tons of time... but it sure is neat! Maybe someday soon I'll come up with something worthwile to talk about.

Well... looks like it all works. I got out and came back in.

First Entry... 7/23/02 02:10:15pm